I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
