We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
