you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
