We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
