i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
