I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
