I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
