every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize