I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize