I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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