i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
