She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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