i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
