yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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