So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
