Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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