i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
