What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Damn victory sex feels great
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
