i may or may not be watching the land before time
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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