I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
