You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
