so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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