ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
