is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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