don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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