found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
