I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Where is the hickey?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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