Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, beer. Big fan.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
