High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
