I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
