my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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