Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize