I want to walk on stilts...naked
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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