Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
