Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
