he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You may now shotgun with the bride
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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