Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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