u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
