Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
