Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
A bitchslap is in order.
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