I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
