U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
