Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
