Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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