tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
