Me too!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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