My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
