I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
