I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
