ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
