It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
