I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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