words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize