I heard we made out
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
