hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
