I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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