And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
