ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
