sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
