You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
