My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
